WEDNESDAY #2180

NEWSY BITS...

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LANCASHIRE, England has joined forces with the ground-breaking national anti-knife crime campaign Save a Life, Surrender Your Knife.

Not The Onion! The latest `safety drive` in the UK is ``knife control``. Honestly? What next!

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The Onion's take...

What an extraordinary image...

But I think if you asked the store owner who was robbed by Michael Brown and who had his store looted, he would say there were TOO MANY cops?

That'll teach him to call the cops reporting a felony.

I'm all in favor of civil disobedience, but you have to draw the line a shooting at police or destroying your neighborhood...

That's just fucking stupid.
PREDICTION: There will be a massive get out the vote and a black mayor will appoint a black police chief and then there will be just as many blacks arrested as they are now.
Putting it all in another perspective...

And lastly, look carefully at this remarkable image...

Now think of Ralph Ellison's The Invisible Man and how he used to sit in a room full of lights in an attempt to make himself visible. Uncanny.
And then I ran across this...

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THE catch...

And, of course, the internet has had fun with it...

What do we want?

A smartphone for fat fingers!

When do we want it?

BOW!

A Family That Tags Together...

"And, Sweetie, don't forget this time, there is a C in fuck."

A man sits on the rope holding his bull by the neck as he waits to enter it in a bull fight in Haiti. The obscure Haitian practice of fighting bulls is brutal like a cock or dog fight, but on a larger scale.

At least, unlike Spanish bullfighting, the bull has a chance of survival.

We’ll give him gold and frankincense, but wait…there’s myrrh!

Beer: A cold, delicious alternative to hating everybody you meet all day.

Priceless expression...

People have been sending me other examples of flawless looping...

I wish I knew how to do that.

I've seen enough porn to know where this is going...

It’s not really drinking alone if you have a dog.

Yes, men can be cads around women...

But does this woman look like she is being "exploited"?

I think not.

And there millions of young women photographing themselves in bathroom mirrors without any encouragement from men...

 So, women, before you cast stones, take a careful look at yourselves...

If you think everything will be okay once Obama is out of office, you don’t understand the problem.

Then there is this lady...

 ...she is a cashier...

A butter spreader that heats up....

 HELL, YEAH!

Always remember, don’t try to pass a kidney stone while driving.

Some dogs are very smart...

Some not so much...

But I bet you didn't know (I didn't) that there are contests to see how obedient your dog is. This dog was called by its handler and was expected to ignore all sorts of distracts along the way. He aced it...

 Then it was this dog's turn...

But stupid or brilliant, a dog is a good thing to leave in your house in case someone tries to break in and steal your stuff...

That guy was arrested at the hospital where he went to get stitches.

The attractiveness of the please makes no difference. So stop with the “Pretty please let me go and I won’t tell anyone.”

Lying is the most fun I have with my clothes on.

Jonty Hurwitz’s Sculptures Are So Small They Can’t Be Seen By The Human Eye...

 Because he could, that's why.

I’ve learned to appreciate the simple things…like my wife.

How almost all my conversations with my wife start...

Arguing with autocorrect is the new yelling at the television.

Street Artist Bordalo II Creates an Outdoor Sculpture of an Owl From Found Objects in Portugal...

You never know when this will come in handy...

I noticed that my waitress had a black eye, so I ordered very slowly because she obviously doesn’t listen.

I’d rather be impressive than honest.

This stunning ancient Greek floor mosaic was just excavated in southern Turkey, near the Syrian border.

Being able to copy on paper what something looks like doesn’t make you an artist any more than knowing how to rhyme makes you a poet.

Today a three-year-old child who I've never met before told me to shut up, and I wasn't even talking.

One Of My Very Own...

 Notice that this guy has a silencer on his rifle...

Aliens searching for intelligent life would observe our parking skills and leave.

I don’t think we should have a woman president. Last time Hilary had a job she outsourced it to Monica.

My great-great grandfather didn’t come here from Ireland to see this country overrun with immigrants.

Auto elasticity, Chris LaBrooy...

 I didn't know there was such a difference...

I'd like to live in Abu Dhabi. There's nothing like the bright lights, ritzy real estate, and an occasional public beheading.

 A couple of sports gifs....

Is there anything more stupid than clapping after a movie at a theater?

The researchers found an average of a five percent decrease in blood pressure among participants who watched fire with sound. The longer they watched the fire, the more relaxed they became. Among control groups who watched the fire with no sound and who viewed an upside-down picture of fire, blood pressure increased.

This image brought back some powerful memories...

It was a classic case of my wife thinking my young daughter was with me, and me thinking she was with my wife. After finding the child missing, we looked for 20 minutes until I spotted her under the water just like that image. She had been in the water for many long minutes, as I knew she wasn't on the water's edge while searching. I dove in and managed to throw the lifeless body up onto a pier, then my brother-in-law gave her a type of Heimlich maneuver that brought her back to life. The doctor at the hospital side it was a classic case of Diver's Reflex; where when under cold water the human body rushes oxygen to the brain before it loses consciousness.
My daughter was even wearing a blue hoodie, very similar to that image.