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I'm an artist, an educator and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I love my wife. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Thursday, May 28, 2015


One Of My Very Own...
That's the way I wrote it and that's the way I posted it.
But then I got to thinking and, well, try this...

You know I'm not a fan of posting pictures of food, but I thought this was special enough to warrant your attention.
Those are French Toast soaked in......wait for it..................................PANCAKE BATTER! 

This is Houston. I have some beloved kin in Austin and they are all safe.

California's Division of Occupational Safety and Health has issued a set of safety standards for all California porn production sets. The 21-page standards presentation goes into graphic detail about the safety precautions that are to be undertaken when adult video actors perform various acts.

Wife got cold as we dined outside, so she wrapped our napkins around her arms.
 When the waiter saw her, he went in and brought out some thicker towels.
Remember yesterday's steaks being cooked over "molten metal"? Well, I fucked it up.

When the oil runs out, what do we do with all the tankers?
This is a serious proposal. I assume all you have to do is outbid the salvage company and run it ashore. 


Word on the street...

Yeah, this is basically my reaction to the guy who shot that rhino for $350K...

Trapped miners are often told to sing or play games to keep busy. Call me pedantic, but couldn’t they just do some mining?

A Proposed International Flag for the Planet Earth:
The International Flag of Planet Earth is a design proposal by Oskar Pernefeldt for a planetary flag. It was created as a graduation project at Beckmans College of Design in Stockholm, Sweden. Pernefeldt used the principles of vexillology, the scientific study of flags, to create a meaningful design representing the water and life on our planet. The shade of blue was chosen to stand out against the black of space and the white of a spacesuit, and the interconnected rings form a flower to represent life on Earth and how it is intertwined. The design follows the five basic principles of good flag design that were recently laid out in a TED talk by radio producer Roman Mars, with the arguable exception of the ring design being too complex.

[My thoughts: 1) I think they over thought the whole thing. 2) Roman Mars has to be the coolest name on planet Earth.]

Practice makes perfect...

Pigs used to be herded to market just like cattle and horses. One such trek went from Kentucky to Charleston, South Carolina.

 But loud noises could send pigs stampeding back toward their home farms. One solution was to sew up their eyelids: temporarily blinded, the pigs clumped together and kept to the road by feel. At their destination, the stitch was clipped and their vision restored.

Had to be done on purpose...

I think every stepfather should be called Faux Pa

Mars, ancient Mars. Planet of mystery.

Secure a small candle to a shallow dish. Pour a quarter cup of wine in dish. Light candle. Place wine glass over candle. Wine will be drawn up into glass. Hold glass and turn plate over. Drink wine.

Spilling your beer is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon.

Freeman Dyson has been thinking again...

TRUE: An American has just been sentenced to three months in jail in Dubai for sexual harassment for touching a female policewoman on the shoulder to ask for directions.

Moving on...

The easy way to avoid tickets...

Nobody looks graceful pulling up their pants after taking a dump.

I only posted that because of the caption. Seriously, who gives a shit?

There were motorcyclists impalled on these. What would have been a minor rear-ender ended in tragedy.

Here is a beautiful crossword puzzle word in its natural habitat…

Reading gives us someplace to go when we have to stay where we are.

Simon Brann Thorpe's wonderful installations:
 Those are real people...

I watched lesbian porn all day to show my support for same sex marriage.

Magazine mosaics, Paola Bazz

 Here's an example of how she did it...
It looks like she changed a color by just stapling another on top of the old one.
My daughter did something similar to that one time.

(Abby, I didn't write that, so don't blame me)

Hula paints a series of sea pieces in Hawaii

There is no “wrong hole”, it’s just not the one she was expecting.

I think the worst thing about getting arrested for smoking pot would be dealing with that whole situation while stoned.

This took me a few seconds...

Have you ever tried North Korean food? Neither have they.

So sez me...
But he's all loving. Well, technically, if you love hearing millions of children screaming for their lives at once.

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